Strawberry fields and oreo forever

Strawberry Fields and Oreo Forever

Last November, we had this short vacation trip to Baguio...Yes! To the summer capital of the so called “republican country”. We went there to wind, unwind, chill, and of course to get chilled. So, me and my friends decided to lodge in in “king's tut” (I can't name the inn) hotel (I believe its near Saint Louis University). We took a room that is good enough for the four of us... Thought it will be a little cheaper if we shared the expenses. But, the room was not available until 12 pm because there were still guests, though they will soon be leaving before noon according to the receptionist. So then we decided to just leave our luggages at the reception desk for a while and have a walk at the park till our room is ready. Ok, so we went to the park downhill, it was lovely... I saw couples boating by the lake, and some are just there to feel the cool refreshing air. It was a beautiful Saturday morning. It felt like I was in a movie running in slow-mo (slow motion) while the leaves fall from the stem of the high trees. There were children biking along the walkway, groups of cheering squads practicing for the competition and some were just there to appreciate the view. The feeling was very intoxicating. That time, I was very positively emotional.

Until, I felt the need to pee. That was the moment when my illusions fell back into reality, instantly. So we walked to look for a wash room, there at the corner of the park sitting is a well-tiled decently looking comfort room. It is a pay CR by the way. As I entered the CR , there was a lady beside the entrance door and asked:

Lady: Ser, good mourning po!!! weeweep poh ba o poohpooh?

(Suddenly, I felt that my head was about to explode that time, ahhhh!!! “There goes the question I've never been asked before by a stranger”).Ok, moving forward, I replied...

Me: weewee lang po miss!?! patwitums na sagot na patanong ko sa lady.

Lady: Ok, 5 pesos!

Me: Sigh... grabe mahal naman. ( But I just kept it to myself instead)

So I went inside the rest room. There, there were men, some using the sink and some were in the urinals. Most of them I noticed that they were staring at me as if there was a dirt that they wanted to scrape off my face. What is wrong with these people in the comfort rooms by the way??? Anyway, so there I was feeling uncomfortable that is why I decided to just pee in the cubicle. As I unzipped my pants, took junior out to release some warm liquid... Someone opened the cubicle door (which I forgot to lock) half way and heard saying in her high pitched voice “ekskyusmi!!! weewee lang ang binayad mo! Kaya dun ka sa urinal! It was the lady. OMG!!! My embarrassed and humiliated blood rushed into my brain then drained it.

I finished my wee wee ceremony anyway. There I was, with my bluish face as I exited the Humiliation Room. Me being dreamy before I entered that room has all of a sudden turned to being nightmare-y. Yes! I know! I'd be nominated for having the most humiliating experience in the whole wide world. That is if there is a contest for that. Naisip ko lang. Syet, sobrang head to head siguro ang competition kung sakaling nasama si Miss beauty queen world sa contest na yun. Hehe. “My pamily, theyr, they was... first time ko kasing sumali sa pageant ever! hahaha”. Pasensya na!!! Silly me. (:

Whats wrong with that lady? (I am not pertaining to the beauty queen). I mean, Iniisip ba nila na ang mga nagpupunta doon ay makakapal ang mukha, wala kahihiyan at balat leather? O ako lang? And what is wrong with those men in that comfort room? Iniisip ba nila na makikipagtitigan ako sa kanila sa banyo mata sa mata habang hawak nila junjun nila? O ako lang? Ano kaya yun!

It was a tiring morning, so we got back to the hotel. The room was ready, we unpacked, and soon rested. At around 4pm-ish I felt the need to use the bathroom and bathe. As I opened the shower with all my excitement, as soon as the water touched my cloudy head, I screamed... OH FCUK!!! Ang lamig!!! Walang heater ang pucha!!! I felt that my soul that is still lying in my bed rushed its way back into my body. My cloudy head became vividly clear in a split of second that I thought I could extract the 5% of 5000 in no time. Hehehe. Mathematics made my life miserable. Yes It's true. Hmmmmm.... Akala siguro nila hindi lang Mine's View at walis, pati lamig ng tubig sa shower e pinupuntahan ng mga bakasyonista. Very nice!!! I mean, ano ba iniisip nila? Na ang balat ng mga guests nila ay mas manhid pa sa balat ng kalabaw na ginawang purse? Hmmm....

Our 2^nd day in Baguio was more exciting... we had everything planned out. We decided to start our day by having our breakfast/lunch at a cafeteria near the hotel. The food looks very pleasing. There was kari-kare, dinuguan, menudo (which btw is my favorite dish), and more. So we placed our orders, I called for the bulalo with rice and extra rice.. As the waitress served our food into our table, guess what!!! Solid fats floating over the sabaw of my bulalo! Ang nilagang baka ko at dalawang kanin ay mas malamig pa sa asawang nagangaliwa! Uminit na naman ang dugo ko sa napakalamig na temperatura ng Baguio. Paksyet naman! But I tried to be calm (cos I've learned never to argue with a food server if I don't want to eat a tuuuuttt..(excuse me po)) then called the waitress and asked,

Me: Miss, malamig yata yung food??? Pacute kong tinanong. dahil ayoko maireta sya sakin.

Waitress: Ahhhhh (tagal sumagot)... Sir, ganyan po talaga.

Me: Opaksyet! Papatayin mo bako sa bulalong may lumulutang na taba? Ano to sa ingles? Heart attack soup? At yung kanen nyo, bahaw? Nagiisip pa ba kayo ha???

(pero I just kept it to myself for the second time around)

Me: Ahhh ganun po ba? Pwede po paki-inet?

Waitress: Pwede po Sir. Ngumiti sya sabay sabi, May extra charge pong limang piso. (:

Me: Uuuuuuuwhat!? (sabi ko sa sarili ko). Cge miss, Pleaaaaseee.. Patwitums kong sinabi sa kanya. (:

Hayyy... ever felt like you were eating and you don't taste nor feel the food in your mouth but then you were so hungry that you just ate the food anyway? Well, what I felt was nothing like that. I ate the food anyway and for me it was the best preheated bulalo ever. Hehe. Ang mga kabayan nga naman. masyadong matatalino. Kilala tayo sa buong mundo as magagaling. Hmmm... alam nyo na siguro kung saan patutungo ito. Well I guess the best way to have your investments returned is to make extra mile service then charge an extra mile after. Very well said! Thank you! Of course that is a lie! Wait, I'm loosing focus.

Ok, going back to my article. Later that afternoon we talked about going to Nevada Square after having dinner. That time, I was feeling restless (if you know what i mean). I felt the urges to get laid by someone and maybe hoping to go barhopping with him later that same day. Just near the hotel entrance is an internet cafe were I decided to rent a computer and chat with someone via Mirc. There i was, at #bi-baguio channel advertising my need to meet someone. There were exchanges of hi's and hellos, pictures and web pages. But the one I liked most went like this,

prettybaby(Me): hi. Ctc

baguiochatter: hello asl

prettybaby:25 m qc. now in baguio for 3 days. Looking for someone I can party with sa Nevada later.

Prettybaby: asl pls

baguiochatter: 28 m Baguio pics pls.

Prettybaby: http://www.guys4men.com/members/!)&$@%#

Pretttybaby: pics pls?

Baguiochatter: http://www.guys4men.com/members/######

When I saw his pictures, I thought I was looking at man in his early 40's. I know I'm not in the position to judge him but he does really look 40ish and he is not attractive either. Then the awkward part of chatting came, how do you reject someone politely but effectively? Here it goes,

Prettybaby: Thank you man.

Prettybaby: I'm sorry but I like younger men

Prettybaby: Thank you and it was nice chatting with you.

Message: you were kicked from the channel by....

Ohhh. Nakicked ako sa channel. Why? What happened? Who kicked me out?

Prettybaby: /join #bi-baguio

Message: your IP address 1.1........... is banned by....

Ohhhhh... na-banned ang buong internet cafe dahil sa kagagawan ko...

What's wrong with these people? I was polite and was just trying my best to get laid but because of that insecure, incompetent amoy lupang old man!!! hmp!

I didn't get laid!

The end

Despite these unfortunate events, Baguio is still close to my heart and for me is still the best place to stay during summer or any season of the year. Thank you Baguio. -Oreo Forever